Knock, knock! It’s me again, your anxiety

Do you ever have moments where your body goes numb and you can’t breathe? It's like you start to lose control of your body. Once you allow yourself to stay in that state, you fall deeper into it and becomes harder to recover. This past week has been an absolute blur and I felt like I just went through all the motions. There was a day where my anxiety had turned into a panic attack. My heart started palpitating and I just went numb. I probably had ten mental break downs that day. My anxiety got to the point where I couldn't pick up a pencil to write and figure out what was going on. I just laid in bed and my mind instantly went completely blank. When I talk about going numb, it doesn’t mean that you don’t feel anything. Numbness is becoming overwhelmed with many different type of emotions all at once and you don’t know what exactly you are feeling. To be honest, it has been awhile since I’ve had an episode like this. I’m usually aware of the mental/emotional state I‘m in and I try to be positive or work out all possible outcomes. However, no matter how hard I try, anxiety likes to make an appearance. This time around, it’s due to many life stressors and change that are contributing to my anxiety. In the moment, I wasn’t able to think about what I need to change or how I could help calm my anxiety. I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’t be in the moment. The best thing I was able to do for myself was to take a step back and take deep breaths. That‘s what got me through my day and I went to sleep early. Then next day, I got out of bed. And I was so damn proud. I realized that not everyday is going to be great, no matter how hard I’ve worked on my mental health. I’m going to have set backs and that is okay. Instead of bashing myself for not being positive or falling into a dark state again, I took it as another lesson. I took the week to reevaluate what happened and actions I can try to help my anxiety. Here are some of my take aways to share with you all:

When you start to feel anxious take a step back, do some deep breathing and ask yourself why you are going through it. Identify your feeling. If you need to walk away from the situation you are in, do it. If you need to go outside and clear your mind, do it. If you need to just get some sleep, do it. If you need to just get away for a few days for the sake of your sanity, DO IT. Life isn’t just about working and school. Even if you take a day off, the sun is still going to rise tomorrow. Prioritize what you need to do to make sure you don’t fall into a deep anxiety/panic attack. Nothing is worth sacrificing your overall well being to drag you to feel overwhelmed and numb.

If you have really bad anxiety like me, building small routines throughout your day can help. I don’t like having full daily routines because things can change on a daily basis. Start with something small, realistic and attainable for you. For example, at the end of the day I’ll open my journal and set a timer for 5 minutes. In those five minutes, I turn my notifications off so I can just spend that time to release everything out. After that, I’ll start my bed time routine. It may not seem like a lot, but it helps me. It’s attainable for me. Eventually I’ll start building up on my routines but at least I started somewhere.

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